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The Shogun, Lord Tokugawa Shigeshige, Still Missing The Serial Couple Assaults That Only Occur On The Nights of Fireworks Displays Is Amarao Daisaku Moving to a Foreign Club? The World Sinks Except the Kabuki District Wins the Golden Raspberry
Here's today's top story.
Tokugawa Shigeshige-sama, the shogun,
The Shogun Lord Tokugawa Shigeshige Still Missing
has been missing since last week,
and now it has come to light that he'd been taking walks,
incognito, outside the castle.
National Police Agency Commissioner-General Matsudaira Katakuriko
The man said to have acted as his guide, Commissioner-General Matsudaira Katakuriko,
has categorically denied any involvement in this case.
Caution: Cameras Flashing
Unemployed Suspect Sakata Gintoki
He maintains that it was all the doing of Sakata Gintoki,
who's being held on charges of obstruction of justice.
G-Good lord.
I never thought Gintoki-dono would...
That's the legendary Joi Rebel who used to be feared as the White Yaksha for you!
I had no idea his patriotic flame still burned so brightly!
He is truly the personification of a lamp in broad daylight.
Katsura-san!
In a world illuminated by sunlight,
his light is but a garbage fire that does nothing but flicker pointlessly.
But when dark clouds shroud the land and shadows loom,
it becomes a great bonfire that chases away the darkness!
Tonight we celebrate!
We shall throw a party to mark the White Yaksha's triumphant return!
But Katsura-san,
Gintoki-dono's been taken captive by the enemy.
Just who do you think he is?
Faced with that reawakened demon, iron bars may as well be Bretz.
The salad flavored ones.
Hurry up and get everything ready before he comes back.
Yes, sir!
But I have to say, Elizabeth,
having the enemy commander, who I wanted to overthrow for years,
be taken out so easily by someone else
does leave a sour taste in the mouth.
We don't know for sure that the shogun's dead yet...
Nonsense.
Are you suggesting that he would let his prey slip away?
Welcome Back, White Yaksha
Having lost their commander, the bakufu must be in disarray right about now.
Now is the time to create a brand new world!
We must stay on our toes.
Right, Sho-chan?
Indeed, Katsura-san.
Being a Leader Is Tough
Uh, Katsura-san.
Sho-chan's request: You must watch this program in a bright room and at a safe distance from your TV
Who is he?
Sho-chan, obviously.
That's not what I meant.
He was asking who this Sho-chan is.
Oh, I haven't introduced you yet.
This is Sho-chan.
I'm Sho-chan. Pleased to meet you.
The conversation hasn't made any progress at all!
I helped him after finding him lying on the street the other day.
But he'd lost his memories from hitting his head.
He didn't have anywhere to go,
so I asked him if he wanted to topple the nation with us.
Doesn't the aura of dignity about him make you feel he's no ordinary man?
He surely has what it takes to one day stand at the forefront
of us Joi Rebels as the great general who will crush the bakufu.
Show the way, Sho-chan.
As such, I have taken to calling him Sho-chan.
I don't know about "one day," Katsura-san.
The Shogun Lord Tokugawa Shigeshige Still Missing
Isn't he already a leader of men?
Ah, so you guys also sense the ambition he has
that makes you want to prostate yourself before him despite him being a newcomer.
That's not what I meant...
Isn't he a spitting image of a certain somebody?
Ah, so you guys also noticed
that in this anime,
wearing a top knot wig makes almost every character look the same.
That's not it, either!
Anyway, he'll surely become an incredible Joi Rebel who'll change the world one day.
Until that day comes, I'd like you all to give him your support.
I'm counting on you.
Man, this is bad.
That's definitely the missing shogun.
At this rate, we'll end up rebelling with the shogun!
That'd be so awkward! And bad in so many ways!
For both the shogun and us!
Listen, Sho-chan.
You're a natural-born leader of men.
I'd love for you to polish those talents
and support the men as our second leader.
To that end, I'll teach you all the leadership skills I've learned.
Hey. He's saying he'll teach the leader of a nation leadership skills.
Somebody stop him!
Not happening. He's totally into it.
He won't listen to anyone when he's like that.
First off,
a leader must stay cool at all times.
As such,
to develop the composure needed to run an organization with a cool head at all times,
you will now play Jenga with me.
What does that have to do with running an organization?
What you need to be a leader is the same thing you need in Jenga: a sense of balance.
You have to weed out your useless subordinates,
but also make sure things don't come tumbling down
by buying them a canned coffee on the rooftop and consoling them.
Remember that, and you can keep the organization running smoothly.
That's the theory he was running us with?!
But that is not enough.
While we're playing Jenga,
Elizabeth will throw balls at us.
And from behind us, the teacher in black will repeat...
You fool!
Over and over.
You fool!
How you keep a cool head in this annoying situation
You fool!
and keep the Jenga from falling is what's important.
You fool!
Your idea's already far from cool!
You fool!
Let's begin. I'll go first.
You fool!
Behold how cool a true leader is!
You fool!
He's coolly targeting the organization right off the bat!
He's the coolest one here!
Of course he is!
I see. We're starting from scratch, are we?
But this isn't enough to throw me off my game.
Hey, he's not getting angry.
He's staying cool even though the organization crumbled.
A leader fights not
against swords closing in to strike him,
or balls thrown at him...
You fool!
I'm not a fool! I'm Katsura!
That's what a leader fights against?!
Did you seriously think that would catch on?!
In your dreams!
He's lost his composure on the very first move!
He's forgotten all about the organization!
It's my turn.
I have to turn this crisis into an opportunity?
That being the case,
I'll do this.
Is that how Jenga rules work?!
Isn't that dominoes?
The one where you make the organization fall one piece after another in the end?!
Oh? Instead of building a hierarchy, you expanded your organization laterally?
You mean to throw out the leadership system and base your organization on equality?
Talk about reading too much into it!
But without a man to stand atop it and give it direction,
an organization will lose its way.
Even if he must use the corpses of his men as stepping stones,
a leader must always stay standing
and keep the organi—
Never mind keeping it safe, the leader destroyed the organization!
It stopped?
I never intended to do away with the leadership system.
But if a leader is too fixated on staying on top,
then the greater the heights an organization reaches,
the more he'll grow out of touch with his subordinate's feelings.
That said, if everyone is equal, they'll all fall together.
So I want to support the organization as its foundation.
Katsura-san!
Oh, no! He lost!
He said he'd teach him leadership skills, but ended up getting taught a lesson!
W-Well, that's a valid viewpoint.
We're both right, or, well,
there's more than one right answer.
Trying to pick a winner in this kind of thing is nonsensical to begin with.
You fool!
Shut the hell up!
He's gone berserk!
Who was it that said all that about cool heads earlier?
Well, I knew from the start that you had that degree of leadership skill in you.
But this is where it gets tough, Sho-chan.
Number two: a leader must never show his weaknesses to others.
He must always lead his men by example and portray the perfect image.
As such,
in order to develop the toughness
needed to hide your weakness and portray a perfect self,
you'll now play Reversi with me.
Seriously, why another game?!
These Reversi pieces have insults written on them.
Tighty Whities
Long hair is kinda suffocating
Stubborn
Looks like an extra
The whites have you insulting me,
and the blacks have me insulting you.
If you don't want to show any weaknesses,
you must flip as many of the opponent's pieces as possible.
What the hell will that develop?
This stupid game will only degrade you two!
You think you can expose Leader Katsura's weaknesses?
Let's see you try!
Here we go!
Too serious
Tighty Whities Had nose hair Farted the other day
Stubborn
Looks like an extra
Bad morning breath
What's wrong?
Your weaknesses keep getting exposed!
If anything, your awful personality is what's getting exposed!
Come on.
I'll take the corner. I'm gonna go for the corner.
Are you okay with that? Shouldn't you flip that piece?
He's revealing his weaknesses for all to see!
I guess this game's over.
It's all black!
I never knew game boards and people could turn so black!
You got me. I have lost.
Too bad, Sho-chan.
You did your best,
but this shows the difference in leadership experience between us.
Yes, you are right.
Actually, I wanted to write more insults about you,
but I couldn't find many weaknesses in a perfect leader like yourself.
So I painted the white sides black and wrote my own faults on them.
But that served as a valuable opportunity to face my shortcomings.
Be it to hide your weaknesses or overcome them,
you must face up to them first.
Katsura-san!
He won the battle, but lost at humanity!
Our leader's lost two in a row!
Forget teaching, he keeps getting schooled instead!
And the shogun's got game!
He may have amnesia, but he hasn't lost any of his nobility!
Hey, maybe the shogun isn't as bad a guy as we made him out to be.
He might even be a better leader than our—
Dumbass!
You're good, Sho-chan.
I didn't expect you to be this capable.
Indeed, recognizing your own weakness is also a form of strength.
You fool!
That's right! I'm a fool!
And now for the third and final lesson!
A leader must use any means possible to lead his organization to victory.
As such, you'll play Uno with me!
Because I'm good at Uno!
So much for teaching him!
Draw four.
He lost just like that!
Shogun!
You're amazing!
Your past and your position don't matter anymore!
You're a true leader of men!
Just like you, we'll cast aside our past!
So please show us the way!
With you, I'm sure we can change this country!
But Katsura-san...
Forget about him.
He needs some time to cool off.
Elizabe—
You fool!!
Welcome Back, White Yaksha
Listen up, men!
Several days have passed since our comrade, Sakata Gintoki, took the shogun's head.
But he hasn't returned yet.
I thought he'd be able to break out of the bakufu's prison easily,
but he must've run into some unforeseen complications.
As such,
to save Gintoki, who's being imprisoned in Edo Castle for grave crimes against the nation,
I, Katsura Kotaro, have made up my mind to storm the castle!
I realize it's a terribly dangerous thing to do.
But I cannot sit by and watch a comrade die.
So please don't stop me.
And don't try to come along.
I'll only say it one more time:
don't try to come along.
I'll only say—
Uh, sorry, but you're distracting us from the game, so could you keep it down?
Where are you going, Katsura-san?
How awful of you to try to leave without saying anything. Haven't you forgotten something?
Elizabeth!
If you're going out, return this DVD for me.
Joshima Wants to Quit Being the Leader
Quit acting like you're a leader already, damn errand boy.
I'm not Joshima! I'm Katsura!
Fine! I'll quit being leader!
There's nothing good about being a leader, anyway!
Nobody listens to Leader anymore!
Matsuoka's totally looking down on him!
Everyone else is appearing in dramas and variety shows,
so poor Leader only gets to work on Dash Island!
How about we quit being Joi Rebels and form a new unit called OED?
I don't recall ever being a Joi Rebel.
Where do you think you're whining and wailing?
Did you come to save me or annoy me?
I came to have you save me.
You want help from a guy who's stuck in hell?
Open this door already!
You and I are only in this predicament because you took the shogun home with you!
He's not the shogun. He's Sho-chan.
Oh, for crying out loud!
Anyway, bring that Sho-chan guy back here.
That way, I'll be cleared of all charges,
and you can go back to being leader.
What are you doing there?
An intruder!
Crap!
Sorry to keep you waiting,
Katsura-san.
I came because I was worried about you.
Are you two all right?
The shogun's here to raid his own home!
All right. I've secured Katsura-san.
As planned, Squads 1 and 2 will head to the main gate.
Keep the enemy distracted.
Squads 3 and 4, secure an escape route out back.
Squad 5 is to act as a commando unit and provide support.
Yes, sir!
He's handling them perfectly!
He's controlling them like they were his own arms and legs!
Don't die on me.
You too, Sho-chan!
He seems to be more into it than when he was shogun!
Calm down, Sho-chan!
You don't need to go that far!
Don't do anything stupid!
Stop causing a ruckus!
This is your home, you know!
The battlefield is indeed a soldier's home.
A fine mentality, Gintoki-san.
That's not what I meant!
You're not meant to be fooling around with these morons!
You could save us from this predicament with just one word!
Understand?!
You want me to crush this rotten state
and save the people as its new ruler?
Want me to crush that rotten head of yours first?!
I understand.
I have already decided to inherit your and Katsura-san's spirit.
No! You don't understand a thing!
Forget it, Gintoki.
Don't waste your breath.
It would be quicker to just go see the princess.
Right!
Princess Soyo might figure something out.
That's not what I'm talking about.
How about we decide who'll be leader by seeing who can take the princess's head first?
Where did that come from?!
I see.
That would be a massive blow to the bakufu. It'd make them lose all face.
Look, that'd be more like covering your own face in shit!
This is your final exam, Sho-chan.
Show me your potential as a leader!
Ready...
Fire!
Wait!
Somebody stop them!
Stop those two morons!
Hey! Look over there!
We have intruders!
Intruders have made it inside the castle!
Wait!
You mustn't attack!
That's Sho-chan!
Look out!
Rules of Leadership, #1:
a leader must stay
cool at all times.
No matter what kind of predicament he finds himself in,
he must calmly put his mind to work and keep his organization safe.
K-Katsura-san...
What are you panicking for?
You're one of us.
Isn't it natural for a leader to protect his men?
A leader must stay cool at all times.
Right?
Yeah. That's right.
All right. Shall we go?
Forget protecting him, you gave him a deeper wound than arrows ever could!
I-Impossible! How can he remain cool in that state?
What a man!
No, he stopped being cool the moment he got a tail sticking out of his ass!
Damn it! I won't be outdone!
Rules of Leadership, #2:
a leader must never show his weaknesses to others.
He must keep them hidden at all times
and always conduct himself with dignity!
It's not just his weaknesses!
His love, heartache, and resilience have all been exposed!
A pervert!
He's not even a Joi Rebel anymore, let alone the shogun!
I-Impossible!
By laying everything bare, he abandoned the very idea of strength?!
I never knew a leader could be like that!
Wasn't most of that your doing?
You are, without doubt, the real deal.
Which of us is
better suited to being a true leader who'll create a brand new world...
Let us settle it once and for all.
Ready...
Fire!
Hold it!
Everything's been settled already!
Neither of you is cut out to be a leader!
The princess's head is mine!
Th-This is...
Looks like you figured it out.
Didn't you teach me yourself?
Rules of Leadership, #3:
a leader must use any means possible to lead his organization to victory.
Unfortunately, it seems this little game of deception has ended in a draw.
H-Hey!
Don't tell me...
You had both already figured out who the other was,
and were putting on an act to get close to your enemy?
The act hasn't ended yet.
Say, Katsura.
If you actually wanted my head, you had plenty of chances to take it.
Right back at you, Lord Shigeshige.
You can't possibly tell me the shogun's residence is always this lightly guarded.
We each could have had the other's head anytime we wanted.
But where is the fun in that?
I wanted to see what the enemy commander was like
while he still had his head on his shoulders.
What did you think of the enemy commander?
Truly stupid.
There was no need to check him out at all.
Be it in the bakufu or the Joi Rebels,
leaders are the same wherever you go.
They all have wrinkled brows.
Katsura.
The next time we meet,
one of us will be dead, but...
...the one still alive will create the brand new world.
No objections here.
Let us go, Elizabeth.
While security is still light, thankfully.
Um, excuse me.
Could you keep it down?
My friend's staying over and she only just fell asleep at long last.
Sorry about that.
Er, Shogun-sama, I'm also free to leave, right?
Right. Forgive me.
I have caused you a lot of trouble.
Don't worry about it.
Just buy me dinner sometime and we'll call it even.
Or just money would do.
Get your ass moving, Zura.
You should be grateful you're still alive.
Let go of me!
Didn't she tell you to keep it down?
Huh? L-Leader?
What are you doing here?
Shut up with the leader nonsense already!
Now I can finally sleep well.
I guess you really are the leader, Kagura-chan.
Love Is a Roach Motel
Next episode: "Love is...
...a Roach Motel."
Any bad couples around?!
Masked Roachief Black RX is here!
The anime staff are pretty black-hearted, too, so we're comrades!
What? A festival date? Really? Ack!